Konsentas Malkonsenti
Posted on Dec 28, 2016 @ 11:12am by Lieutenant Cantor Von
Edited on on Dec 28, 2016 @ 11:13am
Mission: Aftermath
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"Konsentas Malkonsenti"
(cont'd from "First Day & New Friends" written by the crazy collaborator Phillip)
- Translation from Esperanto (yes, Esperanto): "Agree to Disagree"
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LOCATION: Main Engineering, Deck 36, USS PHOENIX
SD: [2.16]1228.0701
SCENE: Near the Intermix Chamber
---
"With all due respect, *Lieutenant* Von, I have three decades' experience in starship engine rooms. EPS power efficiency is something I know very well."
Commander Malin-Argo's deep voice was slow and showed little sign of anger or passion. He continued to work on his console despite Lieutenant Von standing by his side, holding out a PADD for him to look at.
Across engineering, other officers and enlisted studiously performed their task while actually listening to the argument that was failing at being discreet. Ensign Lynette Ryan reran the same diagnostic for the fourth time while straining to hear the conversation.
"With all due respect, sir, the PHOENIX isn't just your average Starfleet systems layout." He gestured toward his PADD, which the Grazzerite continued to ignore. "There's a lot of kit-bashing-"
Malin-Argo raised and eyebrow and turned toward the Betazoid. "Kit-bashing?"
"Jury-rigging. Trying to get disparate systems to work together-"
"I am aware of the term, Lieutenant. But I can assure you that nothing aboard a Starfleet vessel was 'kit-bashed'."
Von blinked. "With all due respect, sir, have you looked at the power flow schematic?"
Ensign Ryan's eyes widened as she reran the same diagnostic for the fifth time. Did he-
"Excuse me, Lieutenant?" Malin-Argo said, his tone darkening as he turned toward Von. "I am *well* aware of the PHOENIX's power flow schematic-"
"And these?" Von jabbed at his PADD, his eyes never leaving the Chief Engineer's.
The Grazzerite sighed. "Yes, the Dominion power distribution nodes and Dominion core interfaces. Lieutenant, I am growing weary of this conversation-"
"Commander, you and your team are doing a great job of optimizing the EPS manifolds - but for a *Starfleet* power system-"
For the first time since she met him, Ensign Ryan heard the Chief Engineer's voice increase in speed. "The Dominion power distribution nodes are set for a non-modal configuration that-"
"Is amazing if we had (a) we had regular tungsten-cobalt-magnesium cores for the PHOENIX's warp coils and (b) used phasers instead of phased poleron beams." Malin-Argo began to speak, but Von cut him off. "Sure we'll go to warp and sure the beams will fire, but you'll have to replace the plasma injectors within a year and the phased poleron beams will begin to have misfire events during high warp maneuvers."
It was the Grazzerite's turn to blink. The only noise in the voluminous engineering space was the thrum of the warp core. All of the engineering staff stared hard at their displays. Lynette reran the same diagnostic a sixth time.
Malin-Argo's bovine hands slowly pulled the PADD from Von's grasp and looked over its data. "You are dismissed, Lieutenant."
"Listen, Commander, I can help-"
"I said, you are dismissed."
Von took a deep breath. "Yes, sir." Von turned and began to walk out of engineering. "Ensign," he nodded, before turning out of Engineering. Ensign Ryan looked back to see the Chief Engineer still staring at the data PADD. Slowly, a smile formed on her face.
---
Location: Deck 10, Primary Hull, USS PHOENIX
Scene: The Pickled Tribble
Iphie Boniva stepped out of the prep area of the Pickled Tribble and spotted Cantor Von sitting at the bar and staring into the mid-distance. Brushing a lock of orange hair from her face, she moved up and leaned on the bartop with her elbows. "Vonny, you look dour. Wait, is that a dour expression for a Betazoid?"
Von, looked up. "Iphie? What are you doing behind the bar? Wait, are you the bartender for the-"
Smiling, Iphie waved it off. "And a whole lot more; Chef extraordinaire, philosopher, poet - the list goes on and on." She paused. "So Vonny, what'll you have, and are you going to answer my question?"
"Water. And what question?"
"Just H2O? Really? And is that expression Betazoid for 'I'm brooding?'"
Von laughed. "Okay, fruit punch. And as a barkeep I thought you were supposed to know."
Iphie laughed as well, pushing some buttons on the behind the bar replicator. "Oh, so you're going to tell me how to do my job, too?"
Cantor sighed. "Come on! Really? The grapevine is already in place?"
"And running at 'optimum efficiency'." She placed an elaborate crystal goblet of a red liquid on the bartop. "Besides, I need to really focus when making 'fruit punch'."
"Right. I thought we were being discreet."
Iphie laughed again. "Vonny, if there was one thing that you weren't being, it was discreet. I must have heard the story from at least fifteen different people by now." Von dramatically collapsed his head into his arms on the top of the bar. Iphie patted his head. "But no worries, you really inspired the engineering staff."
"On how to be insubordinate?" Cantor asked, his voice muffled by his arms.
Iphie pushed the goblet of fruit punch forward. "Drink up, you'll feel better. No, Vonny, they couldn't stop talking about how you stuck it to old Argo." Von looked up, frowning, as the Bolian continued. "The 'Commander' is a jackass-"
"Iphie, he's-"
"A jackass. Seriously, is there any doubt?"
Von took a sip of his fruit punch. "Listen, he's an amazing engineer-"
"And a jackass. And a jerk."
"And a department head. And Chief Engineer." He picked at his uniform. "What is this I'm wearing? Is it a Starfleet uniform? Why yes it is!"
Iphie laughed. "Whoah, Vonny, you have quite the sarcastic side to you! I love it!" She glanced at the goblet, then down at the replicator. "Was that fruit punch I replicated?" she whispered.
"And you're a comedian," Von replied, laughing. "Seriously-"
"I need to stop you right there. I don't do 'seriously'."
The Betazoid rolled his ebony eyes. "Iphie, listen, I don't want to start off on the wrong foot with the *Chief Engineer* of the PHOENIX. I'll be talking to him every day, for the Chalice's sake. Ol' Goldeneye will have my-"
"What did you say?"
"Captain Kane-"
Iphie shook her head, her orange pig tails going back and forth. "No you didn't, Vonny. I thought Captain Homie was good, but Ol' Goldeneye-"
Von's expression suddenly turned serious. "Iphie, don't you dare..."
The Bolian put on the most innocent of expressions. "Whatever do you mean, Vonny?"
The Betazoid nodded, resigned. "Well, crap."
"Yup," nodded Iphie, smiling from ear to ear. "You want something stronger than fruit punch?"
"General anesthetic?"
Iphie jabbed a finger at him. "That's an actual drink from Xelata III." She smiled. "Want to try it?"
Von laughed. "No, I need to be somewhat coherent." He paused. "Maybe later."
Iphie's eyebrows raised. "Really? And experimental drinker?"
Cantor Von got up, and straightened his uniform. "You haven't known many Betazoids, have you?"
The Bolian frowned. "Wait, what do you-"
"Be seeing you around, Iph," Von interrupted, smiling. "Thanks for the talk."
Iphie watched as the Betazoid left the Pickled Tribble. "It's Iphie."
"I know. Iph."
---
NRPG:
SARAH: Back at you...I tried to write Iphie as best I could...
Recipe for General Anesthetic
2 oz Absinthe
1 oz Brandy
½ oz Gin
3 oz Vodka
1 oz Crème de mûre
Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into a martini glass.
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Marko J. Sertic
aka
Lt. Cantor Von
Chief Operations Officer
USS PHOENIX
