Return To Innocence

Posted on Oct 17, 2014 @ 6:59pm by Captain Michael Turlogh Kane
Edited on on Oct 17, 2014 @ 7:00pm

Mission: Birth Of An Empire

"RETURN TO INNOCENCE"

(Continued from "Checking Out")

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"Men fear death as children fear the dark. And as that natural fear in children is increased by [stories], so is the other."
- Francis Bacon

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Captain's Log, Supplemental - We have left the Core Worlds far behind in our headlong flight away from the crumbling Federation. The Romulan invasion, martial law on Earth, Edgerton stripping us of our ranks - it all seems like some horrible dream. And yet we lurch onward, bound for the Triangle, running on nothing but a faint hope of surviving long enough to change the future. How much longer can we go on like this? When do I finally admit defeat and let these people try to make their own way? I need answers, I need guarantees, and I have neither.

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Location: USS Phoenix
Stardate: [2.14]1015.2045
Scene: Captain's Ready Room


Michael Turlogh Kane finished his log entry and leaned back in his seat, watching the blurred lines of the exterior starfield. At transwarp speed there was nothing recognisable about it; there were no familiar constellations to anchor oneself upon. There was only the hazy blur that would eventually end when the ship arrived at its destination and a new reality could assert itself. In warpspace nothing existed but the stuff of dreams.

He couldn't shake Drake's prophecy from his mind. Someone named Rawyvin Seth was fated to kill him on Limbo. It had already happened, it was a part of history. Drake had told him that he was there, that he saw the whole thing. No specifics had been discussed, but Kane had no reason to disbelieve Drake's testimony about the event. He had come so close to getting himself killed many times in his younger days. Nobody could be so lucky, he had thought - occasionally he felt like he was living on borrowed time. He had sworn Drake to secrecy about what would happen on Limbo - if he was to die there, Kane sure as hell didn't want people to be queuing up to say goodbye.

Aerdan Jos sat opposite him, finishing up a report on the final crew complement. It was worryingly small - just over one hundred souls aboard a starship built to hold ten times that number. They did not have enough hands to run the ship's systems effectively - half the backups were offline, most of the decks dark and silent.

When Aerdan finished speaking, Kane nodded wearily. "There's nothing we can do but keep with the status quo. Until we recruit or get assigned more hands, we'll have to make do." He took a deep breath and leaned forward to face the Andorian. "Let's talk about our respective command roles on the Phoenix. Generally speaking, I'm a believer in allowing each senior officer to run their respective departments with a free hand. We've got some good people here, and we shouldn't curtail them. Especially not now," he added grimly.

Aerdan was nodding. "And our relationship?"

Kane managed a wry smile. "You do all the work while I do all the worrying." He watched the Andorian's antennae twist in confusion. "Sorry. A little joke. As executive officer, you will be responsible for the day-to-day running of the ship, leaving the commanding officer free to deal with bigger crises as they arise."

"We are holding to Starfleet regulations then, despite our outlaw status?"

Kane shrugged. "I could give you some nonsense about not accepting Admiral Edgerton's orders, being as they are unjust and probably illegal, but the truth is we can't do anything else. We've got to keep a semblance of discipline, maintain continuity, keep working as a team the way we used to. We could all split up and abandon Starfleet, but then Edgerton would be able to pick us off one by one. With the Phoenix, we have a chance."

"I concur," said Aerdan. "We are in the right. That's why we have to fight."

"Let's bring him in then." Kane activated the comms channel. "You can come in now, Mister Drake."

The door opened and Drake stepped in. He was still perfectly nondescript - medium height, medium build, with dark green eyes and brown hair. He had changed out of the strange uniform he usually wore and was now sporting a regular brown one-piece. He sat down on the couch, nodding to them both. "Captain. Commander."

"Now that we're underway, both Commander Jos and I would like to hear a little more about the future you claim to have special knowledge of," said Kane. He stood up, put his hands behind his back, and paced the floor.

"Not claim, Captain. Once Selyara is rescued and you travel to Elandipole, you can meet Captain Aspinall. You can see the future Pendragon and verify everything I have said." Drake was frowning. "Are you having second thoughts about what I said? I tell you, Captain Kane, everything will play out as I have said it will. I told you about Edgerton, I told you about the Phoenix, I told you about what will happen on Limbo - "

"That's not what I mean," said Kane, looking at him. "You told me that we are here trying to change future history, yes?"

"Yes."

"You told me that the moment we irrevocably change that history, so that a United Empire of Planets under the rule of Edgerton and Neo-Essentialists cannot arise, that you, Peter and the future Pendragon would simply vanish from this continuum."

"That's right," nodded Drake. "Based on my understanding of temporal mechanics, a new timeline will be created from that moment on. The future will never happen, and the future Pendragon, the future Captain Aspinall, and my good self will simply cease to exist."

"And you've also told me that as events in the present change, your memories of that future will change?"

"That also stands to reason, does it not? After all, if the Phoenix was to have been named something else, I would have remembered it by another name."

"Than I'm confused," said Kane, staring daggers right at him. "Why did you not mention anything about a Romulan invasion before? You'd think that would have gone down in history as an important event!"

Drake was completely taken aback. His brow creased in confusion.

Aerdan joined in. "And assuming that the Romulans are a new addition to history, wouldn't it be a drastic enough change to eliminate you, the Pendragon, and Captain Aspinall from our present? Which in turn begs the question, why are you still here?"

Drake stood up. "I don't - I can't explain it - "

"You'd better start thinking about it, Drake!" snapped Kane. "Because we are taking this starship and its crew into danger on your word! You said that history had already been changed because Secretary Martine activated the Phoenix a day earlier than you remembered, and now you cannot remember anything about the biggest fucking war the Federation has ever found itself in!"

"There must be something else!" said Drake desperately. "Some other temporal factor at work that we can't see!"

"Admiral Edgerton's takeover is already underway, nineteen years early," said Aerdan. "Surely your past has already been irrevocably changed?"

Drake was shaking his head. "I told you I can't explain it!"

Kane punched a fist into his other hand and stalked over to the window. "Get out of here, Drake. Your answers don't mean anything to us anymore. We're charting a new course now, and you, like us, are just along for the ride."

Silence fell. Drake looked helplessly from Kane's back to Aerdan's impassive face. With nothing more to be said, he turned and was gone.

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Scene: Sickbay


Still brooding on his earlier tete-a-tete with Drake, Kane was already in a foul mood when he left Aerdan on the bridge and took a turbolift to sickbay. There was nothing happening up there right now, nothing to see as the Phoenix sped her way through the long night to whatever awaited her on Limbo. He had an idea to tour the ship some, to say his hellos and to stamp some authority on anyone who needed stamping on.

As he strode through the doors that led into sickbay, he remembered that the place already had its first patient, and determined to check on her.

The new chief medical officer, Cade Foster, was sitting in his office, but got up as soon as he saw Kane and came out onto the factory floor. Nearby, a young Bolian woman lay underneath the sheath of the a biobed, her life-signs displayed on the screen above it. She was unconscious, and looked like she was sound asleep. In a nearby annex, S'Tanu and Adriana Wolsey were working on their desktop terminals.

Kane regarded Cade.

Cade regarded Kane.

Kane had decided he didn't like Cade much already. He had bypassed him in the cargobay while meeting the crew earlier. Cade was taller than him, which he didn't like, and he held himself in the kind of lackadaisical way which Kane especially didn't like.

Still, no point in not being professional. Kane had met plenty of people he didn't like, but still had to work with. He held out a hand, and Cade shook it firmly. "Michael Turlogh Kane. A quick inspection, Doctor. How is everything?"

"You mean aside from the fact that we're outlaws aboard a stolen starship with half the Federation out to kill us, alongside a backdrop of an intergalactic war which is killing the other half? Just peachy." Cade ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair. "How are you?"

Kane glowered at him. "I'm in no mood for flippancies, Doctor. What is your impression of this facility?"

"This? This?" Cade spread his arms wide, willfully ignoring the dangerous undercurrent in Kane's voice. "Oh, it's great. It's the most advanced sickbay I've ever worked in. So advanced, in fact, that I am the only doctor! I have two competent orderlies to assist me in administering medicine to a ship of over one hundred souls! Any moment now I'm going to choke down this shit sandwich and burst into song!"

Kane held up a hand to stop his rant. "We all have to make do, Doctor. How is Lieutenant Phia?"

The mention of the Bolian woman's name seemed to soften Cade's mood. Together they went to her side. "Well, it's only been two days since the operation that saved her life. It was a magnificent piece of surgery that no doubt would have won me the Carrington if we weren't fugitives from our own government." Cade sighed, and touched Phia's cheek almost tenderly. "She's in a medically-induced coma. She was out of it for a long time and I need to be sure she can handle it before I bring her round."

"Can she hear us talking about her?"

"No."

"Will she recover?"

"Oh yes. In the short-term, she will." Cade shrugged. "The long-term is a question for another day and only after a mountain of tests."

Kane nodded. "Very well, Doctor. Keep me informed, and let me know if there is anything you need." He turned to leave.

"Alright, Michael, I'll let you know."

Kane stopped dead in his tracks, halfway between the biobed and the door. He turned slowly, the temperature in the room dropping ten degrees. "What did you call me?"

Cade looked up. "Hmm? It's your name, isn't it?"

Kane was on him like a dog on a rat. "Stand at attention, Doctor Foster!"

Cade gasped. He hastily snapped into the posture like he was on an Academy drill square.

Kane got right up to him and stuck a finger under Cade's nose. "I don't know what the hell kind of assignments you had in the past, or what sort of mental malfunction you have that lets you think it's alright to refer to your commanding officer by his name without leave! But whatever it is, it changes right now!" He was dimly aware of S'Tanu and Wolsey watching from their terminals with a mixture of shock and awe at the sudden upsurge in volume.

"I was only - "

"I don't recall giving you permission to speak!" bellowed Kane into Cade's face. "We will be maintaining Starfleet regulations while we are serving on this ship, no matter that a tyrannical and illegal order has been made to strip us of our Starfleet careers! This is not a ship of outlaws, it is a ship of bloodied and bruised and battered heroes! We do this because all of us on this starship know what a threat the Neo-Essentialists pose to the Federation! We do this because we are in the right! And we do this because our dead shipmates from the Armstrong and the Discovery died serving the Federation we are trying to uphold! It behooves us to treat each other with nothing short of the utmost respect, so at the very least I will have my rank from you, Doctor Foster, do you understand!!"

Cade knew better than to be defiant. "Understood, Captain. It won't happen again."

Kane threw a glance at S'Tanu and Wolsey. He eyeballed Cade once more before turning on his heel and walking out of sickbay. As the doors hissed shut, the quiet snuck softly back into the room like a cowed child.

Cade swallowed hard before turning to face S'Tanu and Wolsey. "It looked like he needed to blow off some steam," he said, jerking a thumb in the direction of Kane's shadow. "Medicine's not all about giving hypos, you know." He dusted himself down, the old smirk reflexively back on his face, and looked at the closed door. "My stars," he muttered mostly to himself, "what. An. Asshole."

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Scene: Turbolift


Kane was still furious as the turbolift wound its way down through dark decks, deep into the bowels of the ship. His day was rapidly going down the toilet. Had the fabric of the crew begun to unravel already? They weren't a wet week out of drydock and inter-personal problems were cropping up already. This voyage couldn't end quickly enough.

Unexpectedly, the turbolift slowed to a stop. Kane grated his teeth together in annoyance. He made ready to verbally shred whoever it was that was holding him up.

The doors opened and a little boy was standing there. He was level with Kane's waist, wearing a blue one-piece, and carrying a PADD that was altogether too big for him. On the display screen was a deck layout of the Phoenix. He caught Kane's eye and stepped into the turbolift.

Kane wracked his brains. This was one of Xana Bonviva's bratlings. As the doors closed, he decided to interact with it. "Which one are you, then?" he asked.

"Benito," said the boy.

"Right," said Kane. Jake's son, he thought. He gestured idly to the PADD. "I doubt you're supposed to have that."

"I'm inspecting the ship," said Benito, matter-of-factly. He awkwardly held up the PADD. I'm working my way down from the deck where I live."

Kane nodded indulgently. "Your mother allows you to roam the ship freely. That figures. Is everything meeting your expectations and standards?"

"I don't know what an expectation is, but it's alright." Benito put down the PADD and pointed at Kane's collar. "You're the captain."

"That's right."

Benito smiled. "I'm going to be the captain some day! I'm going to join Starfleet and have the biggest ship with the biggest engines!"

Kane raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

Benito was talking like he had foreseen all this many years ago. "Yes. I'll paint it red and white stripes call it the USS Awesome. I'll make my mom the first officer and make my dad the chief engineer. We'll blow up the Romulans and the Klingons and then I'll go on a tour of the Federation to let people see me and tell me how awesome I am, just like my ship!"

Kane couldn't help himself. He chuckled aloud. "I'll make sure to shout the loudest. But it's not all glamour being a captain."

"No?"

"No. You have to make hard decisions sometimes, like whether to go left and face the danger or turn right and face the other danger. You have to worry about everyone on your ship and hope they're always okay, all of the time. If anything happens to them it makes you feel really bad."

"Like on your other ship."

Kane was staggered. Out of the mouths of babes, he thought. "Yes. Like on my other ship."

Benito was thinking. "Do you have a home that's not here?"

The conversation was rapidly going downbeat. "No," said Kane. "I don't have a home anymore. It burned down in a fire."

"So did mine!" exclaimed Benito brightly, before suddenly thinking of something else. His fell fell and he spoke quietly. "Would you ever order my dad to die, Captain Kane?"

Kane leaned down his haunches and put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "No, Benito, never! Your father is the best engineer I've ever worked with, did you know that? He's able to fix all sorts of things and he makes this ship go fast. Why would I order something like that?"

"But dads die on starships every day, right?"

"Yes, but it's not the dying that's important, Benito, it's the living. Okay?"

"Okay then."

Kane stood back up.

"I guess I'll go home," said Benito. "I don't want to be a captain anymore."

"No?"

The boy looked up apologetically with big childish eyes. "I don't think I could be like you."

"Nonsense. Grow up strong, study hard - "

"Not like that," said Benito as the turbolift slowed down to stop. "I don't want to pretend to be strong on the outside every day. It would make me too sad on the inside, every day."

Kane swallowed hard. "I'm not sad - "

The doors opened at Benito stepped outside, forgetting about his PADD. The boy didn't wait, he broke into a run and was gone down the corridor.

Kane leaned down and picked up the PADD. The ship's layout was superimposed with spidery, childlike writing. Above Main Engineering was the scrawl "Dad". And above an anonymous family quarters on Deck 8 sat the word "Home". Kane felt a pang of a feeling he hadn't had in a long time, then quashed it, thinking instead on Benito's excitement as he spoke about the USS Awesome. He smiled to himself. Precocious children often flitted from thought to thought as their synapses fired, their dreams caught fire, and then burned out a moment later.

The smile still on his face, Kane put the PADD back down where Benito had left it. Perhaps the boy would come back for it later, perhaps not.

But if he did, perhaps he would find his dream again.

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NRPG: We're still en route to Limbo.


Jerome McKee
the Soul of Captain Michael Turlogh Kane
Commanding Officer
USS PHOENIX


"He speaks an infinite deal of nothing!"
- Shakespeare's "The Merchant of Venice", Act 1, Scene 1.117

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