Magical Spells For Beginning Fairy Godmothers

Posted on Mar 08, 2017 @ 1:45am by Iphigenia Bonviva
Edited on on Mar 08, 2017 @ 1:46am

Mission: Holodeck Havoc

“Magical Spells for Beginning Fairy Godmothers”



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“If an item doesn’t appear in our records, it does not exist.”

-- Jocasta Nu “Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones”

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Location: USS PHOENIX

Scene: Holodeck 8 (“The Library”)


“I don’t understand,” the Librarian said, again; however this time there was an edge to her voice that was not that there before. “I’ve never heard of such a thing before. There’s no book like this at all.”

Iphie and Sophia were sitting on the ledge of the window. That was as far as they had gotten. Sparky, the dragon/side kick, who was both twirling (as much as a massive dragon *could* twirl) and sulking at being stuck in the Library.

“You are here in the Library,” the Librarian explained. “The Library has all you need. Until--”

“Until the Prince comes and rescues us,” Iphie and Sophia chanted, having now been repeatedly told this by the Librarian. They each sat on the edge of the window and sighed, looking down at freedom. There seemed to be an invisible barrier stopping them from leaving the library. Even when Sophia had managed to make her back muscles work (attempt number #5) she only went a couple of feet before being flung back into the Library.

“I don’t understand,” the Librarian repeated.

“You keep saying that,” Iphie pointed out looking at the expanse. Sniffing the air she asked, “Is that roasted targ I smell?”

Sophia gave her a look as if to convey “Really?” before looking back at the Librarian, “Why are you so perplexed?”

The Librarian paced around, her sensible heels making *click-click-click* sounds on the paneled floors. “This is *THE LIBRARY*,” she announced, stressing her words to convey the importance of what she was saying. “And you are the main characters in *MY STORY*.”

“No, can’t imagine why we want to leave,” Iphie muttered. Looking out over the landscape, the azure woman squinted her eyes before saying, “I wonder if someone is serving bloodwine with that bar-b-que.” When everyone looked at her she shrugged, “I can’t be the only one hungry.”

Sophia made “shushing” motions before turning back to the Librarian. “And t-ruly you’ve been magnificent,” she replied. When the Librarian sniffed, the doctor/fairy godmother explained, “We could not have gotten through all this on our own.”

The Librarian gave a flippant hand motion before sighing. “Yes but even though I got you here, does anyone appreciate me? No of course not.” When Sparky smashed her tail around the three humanoid women looked over, nodded at that, before the Librarian clarified, “Appreciate me in a way I can understand.”

“Yes I appreciate having the party pillows on display here,” Iphie muttered sarcastically as she looked down at her cleavage, while attempting to pull up her dress again.

The Librarian’s nostrils flared at that. “And we have an inappropriate Princess.” Clutching her book to her chest she said, “WHY?” When no one said anything she said, “Princesses are to be the model of decorum not antithesis. They’re also supposed to WANT THE JOB.”

Sophia was at a loss to answer that, Sparky huddled into a small ball (as much as a Godzilla-size dragon could) before Iphie finally scratched her chin and asked, “Would this have something to do with my hypengyophobia?” When everyone looked at her she shrugged, “I hooked up a long time ago with a head-shrinky person and before they left they said I had that.” Screwing up her lips she said, “It wouldn’t have worked out -- total over-planner.”

Smacking her book, the Librarian said, “I HAVE THAT FOR A PRINCESS.” Pointing to the dragon she said, “My sidekick can’t talk.” And glaring at Sophia she said, “You may be in the right job but YOU KEEP TRYING TO LEAVE.”

Sophia, took one glance at freedom, and turned back to the Librarian. Smiling consoling she said, “This can’t be the first time you have had an...unusual Princess and SideKick.” Leaning back over to Iphie she whispered, “You’re getting help for the hypengyophobia right?” When Iphie looked blankly at her, the doctor whispered, “Princesses go through trial too sometimes. This can be your trial.”

“I’m supposed to see a Counselor for this?” Iphie asked totally confused. “Everyone doesn’t have it?”

Sophia paused for a moment, struggling with replying that not everyone had a fear of responsibility (especially on a Starfleet vessel). “New tactic,” she said. Turning around she said to the Librarian, “You got us.”

“I did?” the Librarian asked warily.

“She did?” Iphie asked.

Even Sparky unfurled a bit from her crouched position to look up.

“Iphie is not the Princess,” Sophia announced as she stood up.

“People do not turn down being Princess!” The Librarian’s face turned dark and furious, as the skies outside the Library darkened seemingly to match her mood. “I will not have you make a mockery of my FAIRY TALE!”

Suddenly books went flying off the bookshelves in random order, creating a literally literary storm. Iphie and Sophia went running to Sparky who shielded them from the fray by using her wings as shields. While under the large canopy of dark green wings, Sophia felt a large, smoky, nudge, only to realize it was Sparky pushing her. “Is she trying to get me back out?” she asked.

“Uhm, I think she’s trying to get your attention,” Iphie admitted. Shrugging she said, “I’ve been with her longer and that’s seems to be her M.O.”

Sophia sighed as she looked nervously, nose-to-nose, with the large dragon. Suddenly the dragon nudged the doctor again, which caused a long slim dark wood rod that had many twists and turns in it. “This? I’m supposed to use this?” Sophia hissed.

“I don’t think they have your tricorder here,” Iphie offered helpfully. As books continued to fly over she said, “I can distract her until you figure it out.”

The doctor chuckled humorlessly as she watched Iphie crawl out from the protective curve of the dragon, grab some books, and throw them back. It wasn’t until that moment that Sophia realized that while Iphie was singing something about being right and the Librarian being wrong (which just simply *infuriated* the Librarian) that the doctor/fairy godmother realized the Librarian was chanting something and Iphie was actually throwing the Librarian off from her chanting with her silly song.

As the dragon looked on expectantly, Sophia asked, “And you think this will help?” When the dragon nodded, the doctor sighed. “Years at the Academy, medical school, and now I have a wooden stick.”

One of the books that did make it back across was, “Magical Spells for Beginning Fairy Godmothers”.

“Really?” Sophia asked. When Sparky nodded again, Sophia leaned over, picked it up, and quickly thumbed through it. Realizing that it was set up similarly to medical texts she was used to, she looked up how to disintegrate flying books. Finding what appeared to be easy she nodded at Sparky and crawled out herself. Standing up before the Librarian who was flinging books left and right without the use of any apparatus, but intently mouthing words (when Iphie wasn’t distracting her), Sophia withdrew her wand, which did get her attention.

“You figured it out,” the Librarian said with a snarl. “A beginner like you will never be able to handle a Mahogany wand with an unicorn inset. And you did not memorize the proper spell.”

Sophia drew herself up and flicked her wand as if it was a tricorder. “I am a graduate of Starfleet Academy and a member of the Fleet. I most certainly can say...dispergam in magicis aquae.”

Within the Library, light water drizzled down from the ceiling, melting the books in mid-air and on the ground. “NOOOooooooooo,” the Librarian shrieked as she charged at them, quickly morphing from solid form into gaseous within three steps. At their feet was a puddle of water, clothing, hair pins, and disapproving glasses; but the Librarian was gone.

“Oh Kahless on a pogo stick, you so have to try that at a party sometime,” Iphie grinned.

Sophia smiled. “I don’t think it works beyond here.” There was one book that remained, the one that she held, “Magical Spells for Beginning Fairy Godmothers”. “There was one more spell I saw in here. Well two.” Looking up she asked, “Please don’t tell anyone I was saying or doing spells.”

“If anyone asks, we were drunk and totally playing with live wires,” Iphie nodded sincerely.

Sophia smiled at that as she flipped through the book; the bartender/chef was definitely odd but she trusted the other woman to keep her word. And after she stopped the magical rain, Sophia realized one more thing. “You really do have that fear you mentioned, don’t you?” When Iphie looked up into the ceiling as if it was the most fascinating structure Sophia mentioned off-handedly, “I thought I saw something so you don’t have to be the Princess.”

“DO IT!” Iphie yelled. Belatedly she looked at Sparky, “You’re cool with that, right? Cause you know it’s your turn.” As the dragon nodded, Iphie turned back and said, “Go for it.”

“Right,” Sophia said. Rolling up her sleeves she waved the wand in the direction of Iphie and Sparky and said, “Ego vis ad mutare partes…”

Suddenly the holodeck blinked for a moment, added a crown to Sparky’s head, and Iphie suddenly was back in her riding clothes from earlier. “Seriously, you need to break that out at parties,” she grinned.

Before the doctor could reply, there was a large *crack* outside the Library. Sophia and Iphie went running to the window as Sparky ambled along. “I can’t see anything,” Iphie pointed out.

“Hold on,” Sophia said. Going back inside she looked around until she saw a small stool. Picking it up, she walked back to the window and threw it outside.

Expectantly all three of them watched as it sailed outside the Library and went sailing down to the ground.

“We can now leave,” Sophia grinned. “Our wall has come tumbling down.”

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NRPG: Ding-dong! The Librarian in the Library is dead! I don’t know what (if any) impact this will have on other Librarians so I left that alone so Phillip and Ran (along with others) can do their thing.

Also -- all hail Princess Sparky! Cause Iphie didn’t want to be Princess either ;)

Tiffany - hope I did ok with Sophia/Our Fairy Godmothe

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Sarah Albertini-Bond

~writing for~

Iphie Bonviva

“Our whole life is solving puzzles.”

--Erno Rubik