The Fellowship

Posted on Feb 12, 2017 @ 3:50pm by Captain Kassandra Thytos
Edited on on Feb 12, 2017 @ 3:50pm

Mission: Holodeck Havoc

"The Fellowship"

(Cont. Wheels within Wheels)

* * *=/\=* * *

"On Second thought, let's not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place."

-King Arthur


Location: USS PHOENIX

Stardate: 2.17.0212.1136

Scene: Holodeck 2, somewhere in Feudal Japan.


“The hell?” Kassandra felt the wash of heat flowing over her skin- it wasn’t so hot as to burn or hurt significantly, but it did leave her feeling a little pink, like she’d been in the sun too long. An incendiary device seemed rather over the top- but- a sound caught her attention, and she frowned. “Barkeep?”

No. Must have been her imagination. She ignored it and charged forwards towards the Yakuza. Sword swinging, she initially found no resistance from her holo-opponents. Kass frowned. Was she doing so poorly that the holodeck had decided to scale back the difficulty to allow her to complete the plotline?

“Computer, take the holoprogram off of story mode? I’ll restart scenarios if I lose them. No reason to make this insultingly easy, thanks,” Kass said aloud as she whirled her weapon into the midriff of another enemy. The computer didn’t respond, but she did find her next opponent did make some attempts to stave off her attacks, so she shrugged it off, but moments later the remaining Yakuza suddenly began to run, or so she surmised by the sound of their footsteps. “Yeah, you better run, you yellow bellied cowards!”

She turned towards Miyaka, who shrieked suddenly.

“Omukade!” She screamed, and flung herself to cower behind Kassandra.

“A what?” Kassandra’s asked, thoroughly confused. She heard another odd sound, a clicking skittering like a hundred leaves clattering across the stone.

“Cccccentipede demon! First dragons, then Yokai? What is this world coming to?” Miyaka quaked.

“I’m gonna kill Virgo, the kid’s messing with me. Whatta lame-ass prank, way to be funny, mess with the blind lady. I’ll show him. After I beat his stupid centipede demon.” Kassandra planted her feet apart and brought her sword up, ready to attack the unseen monster. It came closer and she lept forward-

“STOP! Don’t hurt him!” A new voice cried out, bringing Kassandra up short. She expertly flipped her blade around so that the dull edge whacked against her opponent, but she couldn’t stop her momentum and collided with something soft, squishy, and velvety. She recoiled. It felt like a giant grub, not hard and chitinous as she would have expected from a centipede.

“Who are you, and what is this thing?” Kassandra demanded of the new voice.

“I am Arak Schad, of course.” The voice sounded puzzled. “And you appear to be Major Kassandra Thytos. I believe we were introduced at the Vulgar Tribble, briefly. You were singing a song I didn’t understand. It went something like ‘if all the Starfleeters were bricks in a pile, I’d be a mason and lay them in-”

“Ah. Right.” Kassandra said hurriedly. She didn’t remember that at all, but it sounded like her, alright. She racked her brains trying to remember who the heck Arak Schad was, but the name didn’t ring a bell. She decided to play it cool and pretend she knew exactly who he was.“But, uh, Mister Schad, how did you get into my Holodeck program?”

“That was precisely the question that I was about to ask you,” the man said apologetically. “I saw Miss Iphigenia earlier as well, as well as some large reptilian flying creatures. I could have passed that off as a momentary glitch, however now that you’re here…”

“Uh. I dunno what to tell you. Maybe one of those famous holodeck glitches? Computer, end program.” There was no response. “Computer, open the doors.” No response. “Computer, run program Kassandra Alpha Three.” Still no response. Kassandra opened the port behind her ear and turned on her sensor nets. They booted up, and there was nothing but an empty, pitch black holodeck. That was interesting, apparently the holodeck didn’t bother creating a complete environment for this particular program. She reached out to where the creature she’d run into was, and as her hand reached where she remembered it being, a shimmer of holographic energy sparked to create an invisible, but tangible, textured, physical section in the blackness. She focused her sensor nets through the darkness, and onto the control panel. Something appeared to be wrong with it, or at least, it was running hotter than normal for a console. But then she wasn’t an engineer, so maybe it was normal. She sighed and turned off her sensor nets. At least if her sensor nets were off she could ignore the fact that she was, effectively, stuck in a dark, empty room. Kassandra turned her sword around and brought her hand to the sharp edge, trying to cut her hand, but to no avail, for which she was moderately glad. With Dr. Foster gone, the bedside manner was better, but she had the oddest feeling that she didn’t want to worry Aerdan, who always felt like something of a clucking mother hen to her. “Well, it seems there is some sort of glitch, but the safeties appear to be working.”

“In which case, I’d suggest that we simply enjoy ourselves. Perhaps this will be a chance for us to go outside our comfort zones. What program are you running?” Arak seemed calm.

“A historical adventure set in ancient Japan, about a blind swordsman. You?”

“A visit to my homeworld. Mine had no goals, so perhaps we should follow yours? If the holodeck is malfunctioning as you say, then it’s likely the only way to get out without outside intervention will be to finish the story. What’s next in your plot?”

“Wait a second. Your homeworld? Where the heck did you come from that you have giant non-centipede centipedes?” Kassandra frowned, racking her brains for any colony worlds that could possibly have giant wormlike things with many feet. It wasn’t a very long list.

There was a very long, awkward pause.

“You have no idea who I am, do you?” Arak seemed amused, not annoyed.

“Nope. In my defense, I was really, *really* drunk when you were introduced to me,” Kassandra said apologetically.

“I’m the new science officer. I’m an Aaamazarite.”

“Cool.” Kassandra said in what she hoped was a nonchalant manner.

“You have no idea what that is, do you?” The amusement was stronger in his voice. Kassandra squirmed and hoped that her avatar in his holodeck was not accurately conveying her embarrassment to him.

“We have to go to the mountains to the monastery,” Miyaka finally piped up from behind her, saving Kassandra from digging herself deeper into the hole. Her spunky sidekick mode was back in full swing, and apparently the holoprogram had decided they were missing the objectives by wide enough of a margin that it needed to spoonfeed them some plot. “Ginzo won’t be satisfied with a defeat like that… He’ll bring more men, and maybe even gangs from other towns to teach us a lesson. Even a great swordswoman like yourself won’t be able to stand against them. But the monks are formidable warriors, if we can find them and beg them for help, they may be able to help us rid my town of the Ginzo gang for good.”

“Seems like as good a plan as any,” Kassandra said, and sheathed her sword again. “Ain’t like I got anything better to do with myself. Let’s get going.

=/\=

The monastery was indeed remote, but Arak let them ride his whatever the-heck-it-was there, so it didn’t task them much. Kassandra was torn between mild disgust at the texture of the creature she was riding- maybe it was the boneless-ness of the creature, or maybe it was the weird velvety softness of it, a weird texture that seemed to almost stick and suck at her bare skin wherever it brushed against her- and relief that she didn’t have to stumble blind around steep cobbled trails.

When they finally arrived, the monastery was about how Kassandra might have imagined one. A heavy cloud of incense permeated everything, drowning out all other smells, and the sounds of chanting filled the air, punctuated by the sounds of weapons, both wooden and metal, striking each other. Kassandra gratefully slid down the side of the immense creature, somewhat reassured in the fact that surely, she was imagining it as being worse than it actually was.

“They appear to have a welcoming party. No doubt they saw us as we came up the trail, this place has an excellent vantage point.” Arak intoned, sounding very much like a narrator for a documentary. “And they appear to be penguins.”


“What?” Kassandra’s brow furrowed, not sure she’d heard him correctly.

“The monks, they’re penguins dressed in monastic robes.”

“There weren’t any penguins in my simulation. There sure as heck weren’t any in yours.”

“It appears that the holoprogram malfunction extends to more than just our two programs. It is possible that all the holodeck-”

“Greetings, pilgrims. What brings you to our monastery? Do you wish to come and see the remains of the Most Holy Honmyōkai? Have you come to pray at our shrine to Amaterasu?” The (alleged) penguin monk asked cheerily, interrupting Arak’s postulating.

“Er, well, we’ve actually come to speak to your abbot- we’ve come from the town down in the valley, they’re being terrorized from gangsters from Kyoto, we need your help to fight them and save the town,” Kassandra explained, with a cough. This now was feeling rather ridiculous.

“Ah, yes. The Master has been waiting to see you; there are problems worse than your gangs afoot, and you have a destiny you must fulfil, come with me,” the monk said, and then shuffled off. His gait did seem rather… odd. Kassandra supposed that it might be how a penguin would sound as it walked, although she’d never actually *been* around a penguin before.

“The inner sanctum is decorated with Vulcan iconography, and there’s a shift to Vulcan architecture,” Arak said helpfully.

“I don’t need the audio tour for the visually impaired,” Kass said, her crotchety nature kicking in. “Though feel free to tell me if I’m going to run into a wall, or something.”

“You could be nicer to him,” Miyaka scolded from behind her. “He did save us from the Ginzo gang.”

“I had that handled!” Kassandra protested, not adding that it had really been the dragon, if anything, that had saved them earlier. There was a creaking scraping noise as something large and wooden- Kassandra assumed it was the door- scraped across the stone floors.

“Abbot, we have some very important guests for you. Stay here and talk to them, and we will bring the sacred scrolls.”

“Who, or more precisely, what are you, and why are you in my meditation program?” A dispassionate voice said with mild curiosity. “Hm. You two look familiar. Ensign Arak Schad, Chief Science Officer, and… Let me see. Captain Kassandra Thytos, the Marine Commanding officer. Curious. What exactly are representations of you doing in my meditation program? And why were there penguins?”

“That’s correct, Lieutenant Stavik- You don’t mind if I let you know who we’re talking to, do you Kassandra?” Arak said, his voice full of sincere innocence. Kassandra was fairly sure that there must be some sarcasm behind it, but if there was, it was nearly undetectable.

“Holodeck malfunction, as far as we can tell,” Kassandra explained. “It seems as though the programs got mixed together. The computer controls ain’t workin’, but safeties still work. Arak and I are trying to finish the new composite program so that the Holodeck will turn off and we can get out of it.”

“I… See… Interesting. What did the penguins mean when they were talking about sacred scrolls?” Stavik said. Apparently, it was possible to convey an arched eyebrow in speech. Who’d have thunk.

“Beats me, maybe somethin’ from one of the other crew’s programs?” Kassandra yawned. She was getting hungry, and a little bit bored. It was warm in the room, and the incense, which Kassandra presumed was Vulcan as it was different from the earlier smell, was heavy, and made her feel a little sleepy. She shifted from foot to foot awkwardly when he didn’t respond. Kassandra didn’t have a problem with aliens, she’d fought with and by enough of them to know that people were people, but she had never quite come to peace with the Vulcan habit of not filling silences with conversation. It didn’t help that her nets were off. At least usually she could use them to scrutinize the room, find something interesting to look at. With her nets off, there was nothing but the sounds and smells and sense of touch to entertain herself, and she wasn’t exactly going to go around touching things.

The door scraped along the flagstones again, and the weird staccato shuffle of the monk returned.

“Here it is, Abbot,” he sounded pleased with himself. “I’m only thankful that I am alive to see the prophecy completed! The Necromancer and his evil librarians must be stopped, too long have we been under their heel!”

“Evil… Librarians?” Stavik said slowly, sounding downright bemused. “Necromancer? That does not even make sense.”

Kassandra felt a fluffy flipper pat her hand reassuringly.

“That’s our abbot, so glorious, so close to enlightenment that he forgets the worldly goings on. The Necromancer and his Evil Librarians have long enslaved the free people of the world in his labor camps, forcing them to work at *cubicles* and perform repetitive tasks so that he can turn them into a zombie army to perform his nefarious orders. Even death will not release them, because he is a necromancer.”

“Riiiiiight,” Kassandra said slowly, trying not to groan. This was beyond ridiculous. But it sounded like she should at least be able to get in some entertaining battles.

“And now, things are even more perilous! For the Evil Librarians have learned of the existence of the Princess Sofia, who can cure death! Seeking knowledge she accidentally wandered into the library, and has become trapped. But salvation has come in the form of the Mother of Dragons, who may be able to find her before the Librarians,” the penguin monk said somewhat breathlessly. “That is where you come in, you are the ones the prophecy spoke of! The Abbot will now read the great prophecies we have guarded for years.”

“I most certainly will not. The verses do not scan properly and are *unnecessarily* convoluted.” Stavik said in a tone which was dangerously close to the Vulcan equivalent of a fit of pique- which was to say mildly annoyed. “I will however paraphrase. We’ve got to find the avatars of all of the other people playing on the holodeck, rescue the Princess, whom I take to be Doctor Andersson, and defeat the necromancer and… and his cadre of evil librarians.”

“Yes! You will find them, oh glorious abbot, and you will save the world! But we can’t let you go without protection-”

“Hey, what am I? Chopped liver? I’m all the protection we need,” Kassandra grumbled. The monk ignored her.

“So we will send two of our bravest, best disciples with you! Abbot, permit Peng Win, and Pin Guin to accompany you to keep you safe!”

Stavik sighed.

* * *=/\=* * *

NRPG: Okay, trying to get this silliness in full shwing. I'm going to guess everyone's characters are going to receive a similar silly prophecy, telling them to seek out the other characters and Save the Princess (Tiffany, hope that you don't mind me commandeering Sofia for the princess position, but everyone knows a good quest needs a princess to save;))

A post by:
Alix Fowler
As

Kassandra Thytos
A woman who probably just wishes she could take a phaser to the control panel
USS Phoenix