Personal Review

Posted on Jan 07, 2017 @ 7:56am by Ensign Sofia Andersson
Edited on on Jan 07, 2017 @ 7:57am

Mission: Aftermath

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"Personal Review"
[previous post was "Reporting for Duty" by the friendly Shawn]
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LOCATION: USS PHOENIX
SD [2.17] 0106.0955
SCENE: Sickbay

Sofia felt strange as she walked into Sickbay. She had not been certain if it had been from the more recent off-hour activities or from her run-in with Commander Crichton in the turbolift. The First Officer had been beyond nice despite her past and honesty, maybe in a way that had been what had troubled her the most.

Given all that had happened at the hands of Richard Edgerton an the Neo-Essentialists it had made sense, at least to her, to expect being made the target of people's rage. Her own family had been a prime example of this; her parents and siblings all having made her feel less than human more time than she cared to remember. Had it been wrong to expect others to act and react in the same manner to her and her past associations?

Maybe if everyone had immediately hated her things would have made more sense, but they had not. In fact most had gone out of their way to make her feel as a welcomed part of the crew, of the family. This of course led to an entirely different issues; had the problem been with her?

Everyone seemed more than willing to forgive her former association with the Neo-Essentialists, each and every one of them pointing out in their own way the same general thing. She had not been the one responsible for what had happened to the fleet or to Paris. Even the board of inquiry had shown leniency in their judgement. Did everyone else see something that she could not? Something hidden to her by a self-imposed guilt that had skewed her perception of what had happened?

"Good morning Ensign," the Andorian male in charge of the PHOENIX's Medical Department cheerfully said as he walked into Sickbay. "Ready for another day?"

"Yes Sir," Sofia replied trying to match Lieutenant Commander Jos' enthusiasm as he headed for his office, likely to review the duty roster as well as any report of injuries suffered by the crew since the last time he had checked.

As soon as the CMO had vanished from sight Sofia scanned the empty Sickbay and reviewed the rather interesting sequence of event that had brought her to be here now. Not so long ago there had been no way that the blonde haired woman could have ever dared to let herself imagine being on board a Starfleet vessel, let alone as its Assistant Chief Medical Officer. Four dark walls with bars in whatever would have been considered windows had been the best she could have hoped for, but that was then, the only future that her guilt had permitted her to look forward to.

Reality had been much different, and she had been most grateful for it. Now the rest had been in her hands to either embrace or throw away. If she allowed her guilt to take over, maybe in the end she would find some way to feel better having taken the easier of the two paths, but there had been too much to do and a family to prove wrong. The person she had been had made mistakes, as so many others before her and as so many more would in the days, weeks, months and years to come. How one addressed these mistakes and learned from them was the true measure of a person.

A second chance had been given to her and she could not allow her guilt to deprive her of that opportunity, the more recent events having proven that. Yes there had still been a need for her to make amends for what had taken place, but that could not be her sole reason for living. She had been one of the truly fortunate ones and the best way to go was for her to embrace this second chance and life that had been given to her.

This would prove to be but the first step, but as the old proverb went 'qiānlǐ zhī xíng, shǐyú zú xià' (a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step). The true measure of courage is to face the darkness, be it inside or outside, and take the steps that will lead you into it, not away from it.

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NRPG:

Happy New Year to one and all.

Shawn, very well done and a great post, thank you for writing for Sofia.

Sorry if this comes across as strange and detached, I needed to get something out, as short as it was. I promise that my next post will be better.

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Tiffany Reeve

Ensign Sofia Andersson
Assistant Chief Medical Officer
USS PHOENIX