Ladies' Night
Posted on Jan 04, 2017 @ 1:48pm by Iphigenia Bonviva
Edited on on Jan 04, 2017 @ 1:50pm
Mission: Aftermath
“Ladies’ Night”
=/\=
Location: USS PHOENIX
Scene: The Vulgar Tribble
Stardate: 2.170103.2130
“Do we get dessert?” Kass asked suggestively.
Eve rolled her eyes. “You’re not even trying to be subtle.”
“I tried that once,” Kass admitted.
“How’d that work?”
“He mostly healed from the hole in his ribs,” Kass shrugged.
Iphie meanwhile came back from cleaning up from dishes (aka using the replicator for its intended purpose) and announced, “We need music.” Selecting something from the computer, suddenly dance music filled the room.
Kass gave a look. “Do I look like I’m gonna dance?”
“You look like you want a B-52,” Iphie announced as she mixed the layered shot that Kass slammed back. Looking at Eve she asked, “Another red-headed slut?”
Eve gave a mysterious look before offering up her hand in an open gesture. “Bartender’s choice.”
Iphie poured 3 different ingredients over ice, into a highball glass, stirred and passed it over to Eve. The Counselor raised an eyebrow, lifted the glass in a silent toast, then drank the concoction. “I like it. What is it?”
“It’s called The Woo Woo,” Iphie grinned mischievously. “I really want you to say it.”
Eve’s gray eyes seemingly sparkled in the bar as she kept sipping the drink.
“What else ya got?” Kass asked as she went back to leaning over the bar. “I can’t say this fruity shit. Give it to me hard and straight.”
Iphie shared a look with Eve who was buried in her Woo Woo. “Well if you want to skip the preliminaries--”
“Halle-fucking-lujah.”
“That means skipping things like the Buttery Nipple or the Harvey Wallbanger and going right for the Sex On The Beach or hells right for the Orgasm,” Iphie replied as she completely deadpanned as she appeared to study her bar. Looking over Kass’ head she went to Eve, “Sound about right, Vee?”
The Vulgar Tribble, which had been relatively intimate, with the 3 women; suddenly became *louder* and far less intimate
“I’m gonna kill ‘em,” Kass muttered none too quietly. When Eve grabbed her arm, she amended her statement, “A maiming.”
“Auntie Kassie!”
Kass Thytos closed her midnight blue eyes; she knew those voices, those *twin* voices. Groaning she muttered. “Just hit me up again with something, just don’t make me say it,” she muttered as she put her head on the bar.
=/\=
TI: Hour Later
Now that Asta, Lysander, Lynette Ryan and Sofia Anderson had joined the atmosphere morphed from intimate to fun. Personally Iphie always loved this about being in a restaurant, the mood always changed.
Lysander at one point, who had been having a serious conversation with Eve about music, leaned over to get another drink and some snacks. “Iphie?” he asked. “When is it beginning?”
“When is what beginning?” Iphie asked.
“Ladies Night,” Lynette supplied. “We were told tonight was Ladies Night.”
“Who told you that?” Iphie asked. She had thought about scheduling theme nights but hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it.
They looked at each other, realizing they couldn’t remember, before looking at Iphie. “Well we didn’t get their names. But I don’t think we have many Bynares on staff,” Lysander offered.
Iphie frowned. “Yeah I don’t think so and they are going to get their asses back in here.” Suddenly brightening up she mused, “Ladies Night is not a bad idea though.”
A short time later two Bynares came in who were dressed in flip flops, Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts.
“What do you mean--”
“--we have to work?”
“We were working--”
“--on our hobbies.”
“Save it,” Iphie yelled. “You started Ladies Night, now you get to work it. I put out an all ship notice that anyone *not* on duty was free to come to The Vulgar Tribble for Ladies Night that means I need help. Go in the kitchen, I’ll take the orders. And put on regulation shoes, I’ll not hear about you two burning your toes again!”
=/\=
TI: Few hours later
It seemed that while they were not off saving the galaxy, most of the PHOENIX had a skeleton crew. Of course not everyone wanted to go to Ladies’ Night.
But a hell of a lot of people did.
Iphie grinned as Asta Elgin was doing a modified beer pong with Sofia Anderson and Lysander Elgin and Lynette Ryan in one corner. In another corner she saw, Eve Daziel giving a cat's grin during what appeared to be a trivia challenge with Petty Officer Luka Nezvorov, Lieutenant JG Virgo Silsby and what Iphie was sure was a pug. And in another corner there was the ever popular darts and despite her inebriation (or perhaps because of it) Kass Thytos was handily winning that, which was causing Crewman Chaki, Ensign Thor Odinsson, Standby Flight Control Officer and Petty Officer Aishwarya Darzi much consternation as there was quite a bit on the line.
Somewhere along the way she had somehow acquired a disco ball that was spinning from the center in the center of the room (it was good to be nice to engineers). And along the bar she heard chanting of “Jello Shots! Jello Shots! Wooooo!” giving her an indication of what the Marines were doing.
And Iphie happily stood back and watched it all, noting who needed more food, more drinks, or who perhaps had too much.
“That’s a new look,” Von noted as he came in from off duty.
“Vonny you came!” Iphie grinned. “Did I dye my hair again when I was drunk? I meant to wait until I was sober,” Iphie pulled forward some strands of hair and frowned. “I mean I remember the licking but maybe then there was something else.”
“No it’s still orange,” he said. “I meant no pigtails.”
Iphie grinned swinging her loose hair. “Oh that’s because I’m not in the kitchen. And at some point the bands fell out.” Holding up some hair she frowned, “But I was thinking of changing the color again. Or chopping it off. What do you think? I could chop it off and make it fuschia. And if I get bored again I could get a wig. Or a wig-weave. Thoughts?”
Von rolled his eyes. “What I like is that you’re coming to me for these kind of decisions.” As Iphie laughed he gave her a look, “Do I want to know about the licking?”
“It was very innocent,” Iphie swore.
Von gave her a look that screamed “How dumb do you think I am?”.
“It was innocent!” Iphie protested.
“Uh-huh. Do you even know what innocent is?”
“I know how to spell it,” Iphie replied muttered. “I know it’s like a virgin margarita.”
“Can you make that?”
“I have a sister who insists on repopulating the Federation so I’ve got nieces and nephews, I had to learn,” Iphie replied.
Suddenly Calvin and Hobbes came back out. “The refrigeration unit--”
“--is no longer functioning at maximum capacity.”
“Define “no longer functioning at maximum capacity”,” Iphie said as she held up her hands to make air quotes.
Calvin and Hobbes began chattering in binary with lots of hand waving until finally they turned back around admitting.
“It--”
“--broke.”
As Iphie gestured for Von to go have a good time with the mutterings of “I gotta go fix this” she went back into the kitchens with Calvin and Hobbes trailing her. Looking at the unit that made no noise and was leaking fluid she muttered, “Really? Now you gotta do this?” Stomping around she glared at the panels, poking and kicking at it as if to scare it back to life, while calling out, “Iphie Bonviva to Engineering.”
[[Commander Malin-Argo reporting.]]
Iphie blinked at that. She didn’t know who that was. Well hopefully he would be helpful. Was it a he? It sounded like a dude. “Hi yes,” she smiled. People heard smiles, right? “This is the chef and bartender for The Vulgar Tribble.”
[[I know of the colloquial name of the Ten-Forward,]] came back the clipped voice.
Iphie looked up. She was not a religious person but perhaps now was a good time to find religion. “Righty-o.”
[[Please state the nature of the emergency.]]
“My refrigeration unit isn’t working at maximum capacity. Actually it’s broke,” Iphie said as she kept poking at her refrigeration unit hoping to prod it back to life.
[[That is not an emergency as replicators are at 100%. You will need to put in a Service Request like all other non-emergency requests,]] Commander Malin-Argo replied.
Iphie liked to believe that she was fairly easy going but telling her that food and drinks were not an emergency (short of being fired at) was not going sitting well. “Dude, I’ve got a gaggle of Marines who won’t be able to get their Jell-o shots soon not to mention all the desserts that will go to waste. I know no one has told you that you’re incredibly average but I’m gonna say *this* is an emergency.”
[[First, it’s *Commander* Malin-Argo. Second, a group of Marines is not a “gaggle”. Third, I don’t have time to educate you on the finer points of StarFleet but I can tell you that it’s Engineering that triage and determine what is an emergency and what is not. Enter in a Service Request for your *non* emergency request. Malin-Argo out.]]
Iphie sighed as she looked at the refrigeration unit. “Yo, Calvin and Hobbes, determine what we can serve now,” she called out. Walking out to the bar area she was about to yell “Last call” when she saw someone she was pretty sure was an Engineer. “Yo! Maybe Maynell!”
Jonathan Maynell turned around and gave a vodka-infused grin. “You got more Jell-O shots?” he asked.
Iphie grinned at that. “You want vodka infused Jell-O? You gotta earn it.”
=/\=
How many Engineers did it take to fix a refrigeration unit? If they were buzzed it took three: Jonathan Maynell, Lynette Ryan and Asta Elgin. Sofia Anderson came into the kitchen area when there was an incident with the interphasic coil spanner and Hobbes’ right foot.
“We need a flux coupler,” Asta pointed out.
“I was thinking an isolitic converter,” Lynette sighed as she scooted out.
Maynell frowned as he came around from back of the unit. “What happened here?” When Iphie looked at him he said, “We need more tools and we need another set of eyes. Something happened to this unit.”
Iphie shrugged. “I wasn’t here. Calvin and Hobbes were.”
Sofia, who had been discussing treatment options with Hobbes who was propped up on the counter. “I need a medkit,” she said. Calvin was hovering nearby and his binary that he was saying to Hobbes veered between concerned and pissed off. Sofia wasn’t sure but it sounded like Hobbes was telling his Binary partner to go jump out of an airlock. Or maybe that was the liquor talking.
Maynell’s eyes brightened up. “I know who we can get.” Turning to Iphie he said. “If we get the refrigeration unit fix--”
“And a medkit,” Sofia pointed out. “Or Hobbes is going to Sickbay and that means Calvin goes too.”
“--and a medkit,” Maynell promised, “can we keep Ladies’ Night?”
Iphie gave an incredulous glance. “Uh...sure?” With that she watched as the soused engineer went dashing from the kitchen. “What’s up with him?”
Lynette shared a look with Asta who grinned. “It took him 3 Jell-O shots--” Asta began.
“I thought it was 5,” Lynette stage-whispered.
Asta gave a wicked grin at that. “Before he *finally* got the courage to talk to Private Nyguen. Then he did several more to keep up a conversation. Maynell is going to save Ladies’ Night if it kills him.”
Kass walked into the kitchen with a bottle of tequila perched on her hip. “What’s this about Ladies’ Night is done? And what’s this about running out of Jell-O shots?”
As everyone relayed all the information Maynell came running back with Lysander (who he somehow roped into this) with two more accomplices. The young Engineer came over to Iphie, slightly out of breath he said, “I got you not only a medkit--”
“--it’s for the doctor over there,” Iphie said.
“Me and Hobbes,” Sofia pointed out.
Maynell nodded as he waved over a dour and confused Andorian, “But I got the CMO, Dr. Jos.”
“Iphie?” Aerdan said as he looked around.
“See don’t show up to my events and I find a way to getcha here anyway!” Iphie grinned as she hugged Aerdan. “Please go help Calvin and Hobbes. You’re my only hope.”
“You say that because I’m carrying a medkit and I’m sober,” Aerdan grumbled.
“That too,” Iphie grinned as she waved him off.
When Maynell was though he waved through the next person into the now crowded kitchen. Clearly having several Jell-O shots did wonders for his personality, Iphie thought. “I brought our former CEO and he will definitely fix this.”
Looking over at the tall Human man who stood in the doorway, the blue woman folded her arms and glared at him. “Oh he’s gonna fix this now is he? Well that’d be a first.”
Jake Crichton looked at his sister-in-law and sighed. “Iphie--”
Iphie Bonviva tapped her foot, ignoring the sudden chill in the room, the stares from everyone. “Whatever,” she shrugged as she moved out of the way. She knew her sister wasn’t a damn saint; hells, Xana practically raised her. Iphie could write a holonovel on all the ways Xana was an overbearing pain in the ass.
But Iphie wasn’t the one who went and *married* her. Jake did.
And push came to shove, frustrating as she was, Xana was still her stubborn, annoying, infuriating, if lovable and willing to get her out of every jail (and gods knew Iphie did that enough) sister.
So once Jake made his way in, Iphie walked out of the kitchen, ignoring the questioning looks and whispers behind her.
Wiping down the bar out front, she took out a shot glass and started pouring herself a shot of the first thing she could find. Before she could lift up the shot glass in walked a tall stocky-man with thick brown hair.
Smiling wryly she put down the shot and said, “Cap’n Homie! Didya come for the Ladies’ Night Special?”
Michael Kane pulled up a barstool and steeped his hands in front of him. “Ms. Bonviva,” he began. “Do you know what I just heard?”
“I’m giving out free Jell-O shots to all?” Iphie offered helpfully as she went looking for the aforementioned jiggly liquor infused treat.
“No,” he pointed out. “Where are you?” he asked.
Pulling up a tray of Jell-O shots, Iphie pulled out a bright blue shot and passed it over. “Here you go -- a Blue Kamikaze. The Marines and Engineers finished off the Peach Tarts.”
Kane gave a look at the Blue Kamikaze as if to incinerate it and then looked back at the Bolian/Human. “No, I didn’t hear about the Jell-O shots. What I did hear is that there was an incident.”
Iphie blinked at that. “Incident?”
“Incident,” Kane said soberly.
Iphie nodded for a moment as she looked around as she muttered a series of dark curses. As Kane sat there she glared. “I’m not going to apologize. It’s not my fault the refrigeration unit broke and I had no idea that Maybe Maynell was going to go get that pigliainculo. Okay? So this is not my fault. I’m sorry if I made people uncomfortable, I totes get that and I will apologize for that. But not for the other thing. And I don’t care.”
To seal the deal, Iphie slammed back the shot and folded her arms in defiance.
Michael Kane nodded at that. “Well said, well said.” Nodding he leaned in and in a sotto voice said, “Except I have no idea what you’re talking about.” When Iphie’s face fell he continued on, “I was contacted by Commander Malin-Argo regarding an inappropriate emergency call and inappropriate non-use of rank and general disobedience.”
“Well...fuck me,” Iphie muttered. Rubbing her face she asked, “Captain Homie, people actually give a shit about---” Seeing the look he gave her, she felt her shoulders scrunch up. “Oh.” Looking around she asked, “Did ya want that Jell-O shot? Cause I may need it.”
=/\=
NRPG: I think Ladies’ Night is well underway! And I managed to get hit a number of promised points:
Get most characters in The Vulgar Tribble doing crazy things: Check
Get interactions with NPCs: Check
Create tension: Check (and...you’re welcome Shawn! *g*)
Peter/Justin: I apologize for not getting your characters to The Vulgar Tribble but consider this your invite!
Translation for pigliainculo is “spineless coward” or “loser”.
=/\=
The Woo Woo
1 1/2 oz peach schnapps
1 1/2 oz vodka
3 1/2 oz cranberry juice
Pour all ingredients into a highball glass over ice cubes, stir, and serve.
The B-52
1/3 shot Kahlua coffee liqueur
1/3 shot amaretto almond liqueur
1/3 shot Bailey's Irish cream
Carefully layer ingredients, in order, into a shot glass; kahlua, amaretto, then irish cream.
Blue Kamikaze Jell-O Shots
1 cup boiling water
1/2 cup cold water
1/4 cup Absolut vodka
1/4 cup triple sec
1 package lime jello
ice
Combine cold water, vodka, triple sec, over ice (to cool it down as much as possible, remove any solid ice before combining with other ingredients). Add jello powder to boiling water, stirring until completely dissolved. Stir in cold liquids, mixing smoothly and evenly. Separate into disposable shot glasses.
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
--Ernest Hemingway