The Appointment

Posted on Apr 07, 2016 @ 1:24am by Commander Jacob Crichton & Lieutenant Eve Dalziel
Edited on on Apr 07, 2016 @ 1:24am

Mission: Fortress: Earth

“The Appointment”
(Continued from “Five Lights”)

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“Sometimes a feeling is all we humans have to go on.”
-Kirk, ST:TOS “A Taste of Armageddon”

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LOCATION: USS PHOENIX
SCENE: Eve Dalziel’s Office
STARDATE: [2.16]0330.2032
Time Index: Later afternoon, same day as “Five Lights”

Jake hesitated at the threshold of Eve’s demesne, hand half-extended to press his thumb against the door chime. Kane had *technically* ordered a session with the counselor, but Jake had gotten the feeling it was the kind of order he could “forget” in service of his own duties. He hadn’t been gone long, but Rochemonte and Maynell had been hard at work in Engineering during Jake’s time on LAVENZA II and his brief layover in sickbay. For once, Jake and his team were actually *ahead* of schedule, a welcome change from what had been their status quo for much of this voyage. But of course, there was no reason the captain had to know that… at least, not right away.

Jake had just started to turn, already etching out a plausible sounding excuse in his mind (“very sorry, sir, but the deuterium storage containers needed an emergency sphincter replacement and I guess it must have just slipped my mind…”) when the door to Eve’s office swished open. Eve Dalziel stood framed in the doorway, her arms crossed, one eyebrow skeptically raised.

“Commander Crichton,” she said.

“Lieutenant,” Jake said, looking and sounding exactly like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “I was just- that is, I-”

“You are on time for our session,” Eve finished for him. “Isn’t that right?”

Jake hesitated for another moment, calculating how likely it was that he could order a site-to-site transport for himself before Eve grabbed him and hauled him into her office. He decided his odds weren’t good.

“Yes,” he said. “I’m very punctual.”

“I’ll put that in my report,” Eve said, turning and heading back into her office. Jake followed, taking a seat opposite her desk as Eve settled into her own chair. It had been a while since he’d visited this part of the ship, and the stock beige interior had been transformed into a place more conducive to whatever it was that Counsellors did. Beyond the purple chairs that flanked Dalziel’s desk, there was another seating arrangement with a burnt orange overstuffed sofa and a low slung coffee table. Tchotchkes and plants almost spilled of a shelving unit. It was as personal as a space could be without actually having any personal effects in it.

“You write reports?” Jake asked, suspiciously.

“Figure of speech,” Eve said, smiling at him.

An uncomfortable silence settled over them. Jake knew that Eve was dragging it out, probably waiting to see how he reacted to it. His reaction was to try to remain still, fail, and then begin fidgeting.

“Comfortable?” Eve asked after a moment.

“Yeah,” Jake nodded. The garish material was surprisingly plush.

“So. Where would you like to begin?”

“I thought you were in charge of that.”

Eve smiled. “It’s more effective if you lead the conversation.”

“Are you allowed to tell me that?”

Eve laughed. “I’m not psychoanalyzing you, Jake. Think of this as an informal talk. You went through a lot in that facility-”

“We all did,” Jake said defensively.

“True,” Eve nodded. “But your experience was unique. You encountered a parallel version of yourself, and he tried to murder you. That’s not something you shrug off.”

Jake’s fidgeting reached near critical mass. Maybe changing the subject would help him ease into talk about his double. “Speaking of that, how’s Varn doing? I didn’t see him in Sickbay when I was sprung.”

Inexplicably, things got more awkward. The amicable cheer drained from Eve’s face, and she rubbed her temples. “Would you like something? Coffee maybe?”

“Sure. Did I hit a nerve?”

She brought over the coffee along with some cookies, trying to command the proper level of professionalism. “Physically he’s been given a clean bill of health, so at this time he has been remanded to his quarters.”

“You just told me *where* he is. You didn’t tell me *how* he is.”

Eve had been eating a shortbread cookie with some kind of jam filling. “How very astute, Jake. Are you looking for a career change?”

Jake grabbed one of the chocolate chip. “No thank you. I prefer my ‘patients’ silent and mechanical.”

Eve sighed. “Thomas is as well as can be expected for someone who already had existing stress disorder issues before being brought back from the dead by a madman who worked for the Neo-Essentialists. I didn’t mean to bust your chops.”

“I guess there are always worse things that can happen,” Crichton thought aloud.

Eve leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms again. “What is your opinion on Thomas Varn?”

Jake squirmed under the weight of the question. Eve looked like someone who had an altruistic chip on her shoulder surrounded the winged man, or at least that was the card she was playing right now. He stroked his chin in a thoughtful, spasmodic sort of way. “Obviously, I’m supportive.”

The Engineer wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw the Cardassian born woman do a double take. “Supportive of what, exactly?”

“Whatever’s best for Varn and the… ship, I guess,” he offered, trying to sound like he had been studying the issue at length. “Best interests and all that.”

“You’re stalling,” she chastised lightly, “or else you just have a hard time making decisions. And I’ve seen you work, so I know it isn’t that.”

Jake rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay, you got me.”

“It figures someone coming back from the dead would make people uncomfortable.”

“It’s not that so much. I just don’t trust this Varn. And I feel bad about that, even remorseful… but still, I don’t trust him.”

“It’s okay to have an unpopular opinion.”

“You mean everyone else wants to reinstate him?”

“Oh, no, absolutely not,” Eve said, biting into a snickerdoodle. “I was speaking of myself.”

“You want to reinstate him?”

“No, but I reserve the right to study him, and help him recover, before making a judgement call.”

Crichton saw the determined look on Eve’s face. “I can understand that, I think,” he answered hesitantly.

Her expression instantly softened to one of… gratitude? “Thanks. That’s more than I could ever expect on a day like today.”

Jake nodded and once more turned his attention to the Lament’s one-eyed engineer. “I knew he was out there,” he said. “I admit, I never expected to run into him again, but I dealt with the way I felt about him a long time ago.”

“The other Jake didn’t try to kill you back then,” Eve pointed out. “In fact, he saved your life.”

“He didn’t have much choice about that.”

“And this time he did,” Eve said.

“Yeah,” Jake said.

“Did that surprise you?”

“Yes,” Jake said. “And no. I never trusted him, not really, but I trust that he’d look out for himself. He and I were working together, we had a plan to get us all out of there.”

“And he put that plan at risk so he could kill you.”

“A calculated risk,” Jake said. “I’ve thought about it. We had the plan, he knew what to do, so he didn’t need me. The way that base was coming apart, he could kill me and tell you guys anything.”

“You don’t think we’d have taken him at his word, do you?” Eve asked.

“No,” Jake said, shaking his head. “I trust you all to have my back. But he didn’t know that. From his point of view, it’s the perfect opportunity, so he took it. Simple as that.”

“Not so simple,” Eve said. “Like it or not, you and he share a bond. You must have felt violated when he betrayed you.”

“He stuck about three inches of steel in my shoulder,” Jake said.

“You know what I mean,” Eve said. “As much as he hates you, did you ever think he’d actively want you dead?”

“I don’t know,” Jake said. “I guess not.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” Jake sighed. “I don’t know. We’re not the same man, we have different histories, made different choices, but… at the same time, we *are* the same man. Two versions of the same guy, you know? And I know I couldn’t have done that to him. I couldn’t even bring myself to leave him behind.”

“You’re not just betrayed,” Eve said. “You’re disappointed.” She frowned a little as she put a name to what was still bothering her from this morning’s assault of Cade Foster. She was disappointed, too.

Jake gave a short laugh. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. It’s just… if he and I are linked, if we’re at the start of it the same person… that means if the things that happened to him had happened to me, I’d be doing exactly what he did. So if the only thing that separates us is a roll of the dice, him born over there and me born over here, what right do I have to judge him?”

“Jake, the question of nature versus nurture has been debated by philosophers and psychologists from almost every sentient species for thousands of years,” Eve said. “We’re no closer to answering because there *is* no answer. Yes, we must make due with the choices we are given, but how we choose affects what choices we get next. The other Jacob Crichton comes from a place with no hope, but he chose to bring that with him to this side. It’s a choice he continues to make, every day. In my estimation, it’s why he hates you so much.”

“Why?”

“He wants to believe his circumstances define him,” Eve said. “You are a living, breathing reminder of why he’s wrong.”

Jake considered this point without speaking, so Eve continued:

“I’ve seen your record, Jake, and it hasn’t all been rosebuds and sunshine,” she said. “You’ve faced your share of hardships, borne your share of pain. Your family, your career, your life… you’ve earned those things. And you’ve fought hard to keep them.”

Slowly, Jake nodded. It made sense, even if didn’t altogether make him feel any better. In Jake’s experience, that was more or less how psychiatry worked.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel any better about it,” Eve said, plucking the thought from Jake’s mind with frightening specificity. “This is a process, Jake. But I give you permission to stop comparing yourself to him. You’re the one who carried him back to the ship after he stabbed you, you’ve got nothing to feel bad about.”

“Thanks,” Jake said. “I’ll try to focus on that.”

“There’s something else you can focus on, if that doesn’t work,” Eve said. “Consider this. The other Crichton had us at his mercy - had *you* at his mercy - and he chose to spare us.”

“What do you suppose that means?”

“He made a choice,” Eve said. “It will affect what choices he’s offered next. I can’t say for certain what he’ll decide, but I don’t think it’s a choice he would have made before his reunion with you on LAVENZA II. If there’s any hope for that Jacob Crichton, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that you’re the one who gave it to him.”

While Jake let that concept settle into him, Eve stood up and let herself have a cautious smile. “We’re done for today… if that’s alright with you.”

“Already?” He feigned disappointment, but his butt rose out of the seat as if his pants were on fire.

The Cns stifled a laugh. “Go- have dinner with your kids. I’m sure they missed having you around.”

“Exactly my plan.” He let out a relieved breath.

“One more thing, Commander.”

“What?” He asked as they walked together.

“Keep on making those good choices everyone knows you for.”


=[/\]=
A joint post by

Shawn Putnam
A.k.a.
Jake Crichton
Chief Engineering Officer
USS PHOENIX

And

Susan Ledbetter
Lieutenant Eve Dalziel
Cns
USS PHOENIX